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Sometimes I wonder if I can actually keep going in life so many secrets and so many things I want to share but I have no courage to say them I have so many fears so many worries and every time I say I won’t Cary every time I say I will be a different person there is this little voice in my head in my heart that tells me I cant that no matter what I do I can’t handle life any more why….

Have you ever looked out a window and thought would it be worth It if I jumped, have you ever said maybe if I take just a few more headache pills would it really be that bad, if I pushed that knife deep into my arm would the pain be there or would it be just a blur….and when I don’t do it I think…what a coward….

Sometimes I feel like it be nice to push the blade a little harder but then I cry Cuz I can’t do it and I feel like a coward…. in these times I just want to cry and after I decide that I’m strong enough not to do I smile because I just won a little war against myself and I’m proud

Can anything feel better than opening up a whole new make up kit ahhhh nope I don’t think so:)